| Support groups come in all sizes and flavors, in person | | | | You do not receive points on the other side for being |
| and online. Whether you're looking for a divorce | | | | a victim of your diagnosis, disease, or plight. |
| support group, a cancer support group, depression, | | | | You are in fact, contributing to your own demise. |
| grief, or weight loss support group, the elements for | | | | Acceptance is one thing, denial another. Being a victim |
| providing you with substantive and positive emotional, | | | | assists your problem in draining your own life force |
| mental, physical or spiritual support are still the same. | | | | energy. Having a problem and addressing it with the |
| There are two kinds of support groups: positive and | | | | "pity poor me" approach is futile. It may elicit help for a |
| negative. | | | | while, but the keyword here is for a while. Give up the |
| Positive: | | | | pity party. Fight! Instead, use that time researching how |
| A pro-active positive support group is one that | | | | to restore and regenerate your life. |
| promotes learning about new medicines, new | | | | Do not use the fact that you are having a terrible |
| procedures,new clinical trials, new books, CD's et al | | | | reaction to something in your treatment as making you |
| about your disorder. This group promotes going | | | | special or as your identity. I have seen many cancer |
| forward, and helps facilitate your research and | | | | clients who wanted attention, and used the negative |
| personal empowerment as a blessing. | | | | occurrences in their illness as a banner to set them |
| When you are introduced to the group they do not | | | | apart. This is not productive. |
| spend endless hours recounting the disease story | | | | It frustrates your healthcare provider. They are aware |
| about why you are here. It's a fact that does not need | | | | of the psychological reasons you are using your |
| to be addressed again and again that you have a | | | | negative reaction for attention. Understanding that this |
| disorderstory. YOU live it, so why keep going over it | | | | is a confusing and complicated time in your life, try to |
| and over it and over it, to activate all that negative | | | | take your identity from your positive approach to life. |
| energy? | | | | Therefore, when you healthcare provider does not |
| That's WHY you joined that particular group. | | | | emphasize or respond to your negative identity crisis, |
| The positive group leader is not intimidated by your | | | | it's a good sign. Their job is to assist your health, not |
| unanswerable questions, but is inspired to become | | | | enable you. |
| more educated about your topic. Your leader | | | | Grieving is an area that takes a little more time. |
| encourages you to ask current unanswerable | | | | HOWEVER, positive attitudes are essential here also. |
| questions and challenges each member to think | | | | Although you have lost a loved one, living with a dead |
| beyond disease limiting conditions and current horizons. | | | | memory can kill off your life force energy day to day |
| They promote all of the members to participate by | | | | and breath by breath. I personally understand this as |
| delegating various positive assignments for everyone. | | | | my fiance was killed in a sudden auto crash. I never |
| If this is a local group, you take "glad to be alive, share | | | | had the chance to say ANYTHING! However, it's |
| life" field trips that have absolutely NOTHING to do with | | | | better to celebrate their life and remember all the good. |
| the disorder, and EVERYTHING about feeling good | | | | Then you keep all the "positive" alive which is |
| about yourself, seeing the world, laughing and having a | | | | contributory to your healing. By celebrating their life, you |
| balanced life. | | | | never have to bury their memories. You can take |
| This group supports taking care of your appearance, | | | | them out at any time, like a special gift and savor all |
| sharing new ideas, resources and adventures about | | | | the wonderful thoughts and feelings. |
| makeup, hair, wardrobe, personal hygiene and physical | | | | Weight loss is just that. It takes times. However, while |
| rehabilitation and exercise. This group wants you to | | | | waiting, you can focus on the light at the end of the |
| care about your personal appearance, so when you | | | | scale, instead of the chocolate bars and emotional |
| look in the mirror and are seen by friends, youlook | | | | traumas creating your health issue. You CAN tell a |
| alive, and as healthy and refined as possible for your | | | | health story that presents your "learning opportunity" |
| condition. They discourage maintaining a "sick" image. | | | | as a learning opportunity to help heal the others in your |
| Negative: | | | | group, rather than a commiseration band aid. |
| It should be a great concern to be in a group that does | | | | If your group is not continually teaching you new and |
| nothing but recount what was and all that isunhealthy | | | | progressive things, and supporting your |
| and unhappily going on in the life of it's participants. | | | | positiveemotional, mental, spiritual and physical and |
| Inevitably this will negativelyimpact participant's minds | | | | appearance growth, leave. |
| and spirits. This is often seen in online Internet groups. | | | | If your group doesn't embrace having an open mind |
| Research tends to support that recounting your horror | | | | and awareness without censorship other than that of |
| story and reading the countless venting of others, does | | | | your personal intuition, leave! |
| not support a positive attitude that promotes physical | | | | UNTIL you take your knowledge gained from any |
| healing and healthy emotional andmental responses. | | | | group and turn it into a positive learning opportunity that |
| This group meets only to go over and over and over | | | | you do something about! you are not going forward. |
| your tale of diagnosis and personal devastation,from | | | | Unless you choose to grow forward, you will remain in |
| your introduction "story" to your tale of weekly woes. | | | | the same condition that brought you into the group in |
| This is a disorder "victim" group. | | | | the first place. |
| It is commiseration of negative energy at the highest | | | | Research continues to affirm that being a part of a |
| level of disguise. | | | | positive support can add quality and quantity to your |
| No matter how much you think that this group is | | | | life. Although the intent of most support groups is to be |
| helping you, they are not. They exist to talk about and | | | | contributory in helping it's members, a negative group |
| share negative experiences creating a "stuck" | | | | can ultimately do more harm than good. |
| atmosphere. It's bonding by perpetual "downers." | | | | |