Relationships and Spirituality

Our relationships with others provide many of the mostspecies, we'll resort to the most heinous acts to further
satisfying - and frustrating - moments of the humanour welfare at the expense of others.
experience.But for all the bad stuff, acts of altruism towards
On the one hand we are instinctively driven to seekstrangers greatly outnumber those of hostility, as
the companionship of our fellow beings, indeed such iswitnessed by the level of charitable donations, or the
the complexity of the modern world that out verylevel of response to natural disasters such as
survival depends on co-operating with numerousearthquakes or tsunamis. Even holding the door for
others. But conversely our dealings with other peoplesomeone to enter a building demonstrates our basic
force us to sacrifice, compromise, inhibit our liberty, andkindness.
are an endless source of disappointment and angerDarwin highlighted the merits of competitiveness in his
when our peers fall short of our reasonabletheory of evolution. The comforts of the material plane
expectations.are available in proportion to worldly success, and by
Our relationships take many forms. Family, friends,implication this means doing better than the next man.
neighbors, business, acquaintances... Some of theseBut being the "higher" species carries with it the
are of our choosing, others just come with the territory.concept of noblesse oblige. Most obviously in
Understanding how to handle each of thesedeveloped societies this comes in the form of
relationships effectively will yield a smoother and moreprogressive taxation - the more you earn, the more
fulfilling journey through life.tax you pay! But consider how many wealthy folk
Why are relationships important?voluntarily support numerous good causes.
From the Spiritual perspective our dealings with othersThe conflict between our underlying and eternal
is of the utmost significance and a major part of ourbrotherhood and our limited individuality and rivalry is the
raison d'être. The fundamental nature of Spirit,cause of much difficulty in relationships. Awareness of
from which we all come and of which we are all part,this conflict, along with that of our innate feeling
is unity. Everything is part of the one great wholeness.towards others, is the first step to building and
The eternal quest of Spirit is for growth, but themaintaining successful and fulfilling relationships.
growth that comes from the interaction betweenKnow thyself
different players cannot happen without theSome of us are more inclined to pursue relationships
differentiation of the on into the many. Hence we arethan others. For some socializing is a pleasure, for
born as separate entities in physical form that weothers it ranges from being a chore to the painfully
might play out our roles, ultimately furthering the growthunpleasant. The insightful psychologist Jung categorized
of Spirit.these types as extrovert and introvert respectively.
The paradox of relationshipsKnowing where you stand on this continuum and
Our relationships with others are hugely paradoxical.adapting accordingly will assist greatly in your inevitable
The highest emotion of which we are capable isdealings with others.
unconditional love, to place the welfare of anotherThe golden rule
higher than our own - no matter what. To experienceRemember, ultimately we are all one, but while
unconditional love, either towards or from anotherincarnate we assume the role of competitive
being is possibly the highest privilege in this world. Weindividuals. Your role on earth is to try your best in your
may hold it for our nearest and dearest, our parents,chosen field, but in your dealings with others let your
our partner, our children... A few more advanced soulsconscience be your guide. Ultimately, the ethic of
may hold it for larger groups, or even the whole ofreciprocity should form the foundation of your
humanity. But this is too tall an order for most.relationships. Expressed by Jesus as: "And as ye
Towards the majority, for whom we sadly don't holdwould that men should do to you, do ye also to them
unconditional love, we are often fiercely competitive.likewise." This ethic recurs throughout all major faiths
We want the better job, bigger house, faster car etc.and philosophies.
than the guy across the street. Sometimes, as a