| How do you know when to bring up spiritual matters | | | | etc) will say something that can indicate to you that |
| with a man or woman you just met or just started | | | | things are not what they seem to be. |
| dating? And how do you know he or she is where | | | | You can also get a feel for where your date is |
| they say they are spiritually? | | | | spiritually by asking yourself things like: |
| You should feel free to bring up spiritual matters | | | | 1. Are you at different maturity levels in your spiritual |
| whenever it seems natural to you and the | | | | walk? |
| conversation. But you should not try to use spirituality | | | | 2. Do his or her words match the fruit of his or her life? |
| to rush the other person into a relationship. Forcing that | | | | 3. Are you the only one always initiating spiritual |
| connection or trying to complete it too early can ruin | | | | conversations? |
| something that began well. Again, go with what is | | | | 4. Are you carrying the spiritual weight of the |
| natural to you. If you find yourself or the other person | | | | relationship? |
| bringing up spiritual matters because you (or they) think | | | | 5. Can you count on the two of you "growing" |
| it'll make the two of you much more closer (or suspect | | | | together spiritually? |
| he or she is doing so), that should be a red flag. Some | | | | Connecting spiritually with the person you're dating is |
| people use spirituality to create a sense of "we | | | | extremely important. But it's likely you won't always be |
| connect" and manipulate the other into something he or | | | | in sync. It's common to be at different levels spiritually. |
| she is not ready for. | | | | Some are weak in certain areas, some are strong. |
| So how do you gauge the person is where he or she | | | | We all grow at different speeds in different seasons. |
| says he or she is spiritually? | | | | It's important to recognize that spirituality is a journey |
| It's great that you have everything in common and can | | | | and be patient with each other. In this way a dating |
| finish one another's sentences and it's great you feel | | | | relationship can be a great place to grow. |
| like you've known the person your whole life, but the | | | | However, if one of you is much more serious than the |
| reality is, you haven't. | | | | other about a commitment to grow spiritually, |
| The only way to gauge the other person is to give | | | | something's wrong. Dating relationships are about |
| yourselves time to go through some things together. | | | | compatibility and connection. You're going for a strong |
| You can only truly get to know someone by | | | | friendship because essentially you are gauging |
| experiencing life with him or her, and you cannot rush | | | | whether the relationship will lead to marriage. So, ideally, |
| experience. As you experience life together, observe | | | | you'll be at about the same maturity level in terms of |
| him or her in his or her natural environments as much | | | | how proactive you are in pursuing your spiritual growth. |
| as possible. Go public -- hang out with each other's | | | | If you're way out of balance in this area, one of you is |
| friends and families. "Acting" is easier to keep up when | | | | going to start feeling like you're always pulling the other |
| it's just the two of you but is hard when you are | | | | up by his bootstraps, and you'll end up resenting each |
| amongst people who know you and how you'd | | | | other. Trying to "grow" someone in the context of a |
| normally behave in certain situations. He or she is likely | | | | dating relationship is not fair or satisfying to either |
| to slip up or someone else (family, friends, co-workers | | | | person involved. |