| Recently I went to the Holocaust Memorial Museum in | | | | Pure anger. |
| DC. Each and every time I go I surprise myself with | | | | Anger that someone was able to say such horrible |
| the effect the museum has on me. Sometimes the | | | | things about my nation. Even more anger that other |
| surprise is painful, as it was this past time. And I have | | | | people accepted these words without any protest or |
| absolutely no idea what to do with how I'm feeling. | | | | even mild reluctance. Anger that nations fell so quickly, |
| It would seem intuitive that the most obvious emotion I | | | | almost surrendering when evil knocked on their door. |
| would feel while walking through the museum is intense | | | | And even greater anger that mass amounts of the |
| grief. I watch as many a person, Jew or non-Jew, is | | | | world's population simply stood by and watched as the |
| brought to tears while experiencing all the terrible | | | | greatest tragedy of world history unfolded under their |
| images and stories. And every time I walk in, I shed not | | | | watch. They did not lift a finger until there was no |
| a tear. I've never understood why. Frankly, I wish I did | | | | choice, when the problem became their own. |
| cry. It would make me feel a little more human. My lack | | | | Someone I respect tremendously once taught me that |
| of tears always makes me feel like I'm some sort of | | | | anger is a fake emotion. It's there to mask how you're |
| cold animal, incapable of feeling the appropriate | | | | really feeling, and it interferes with your true |
| emotions relevant to the circumstances. | | | | understanding of how to live your life in a purposeful |
| I've never really understood this emotional "blockage" | | | | way. |
| of mine. I've attributed it to my lack of knowing anyone | | | | I don't know what my anger is masking, if anything at |
| directly murdered by the Holocaust, as well as a | | | | all. |
| certain protective fence I've built for myself to prevent | | | | It seems to me like anger is a reasonable response |
| emotional pain, mostly as a result of knowing too many | | | | when hit so hard. But it feels, perhaps, outdated. |
| people who died in Israel. No matter how I explain how | | | | I do know, however, that with each passing day this |
| I feel (or how I don't feel), it never seems right to me, | | | | intense ire I feel is becoming less and less purposeful. I |
| and I wonder if something's actually wrong with me. | | | | don't know what to do with it. I don't even know at |
| This personal confusion only became more | | | | whom to be angry. Somehow or other we're buddies |
| pronounced with my previous trip. I only felt one | | | | again with the Germans and the Polish. People who |
| emotion, no matter where I went or what I read or | | | | ignored our plight are forgiven. Sometimes it feels like |
| watched. | | | | I'm supposed to move to a new emotional state, and I |
| Anger. | | | | just don't know how. |