A Spiritual Journey of Personal Growth

I never understood the lesson in my life's greatestthe most attention on. The book explained that we are
challenge until years later. That time for me was athe creators of our own reality and that by harnessing
dramatic awakening that ultimately led to personalthis knowledge, we can make powerful changes that
growth and an ongoing spiritual journey of exploration.even create what we most desire. This was a new
It started in the early part of 1978. My life until then wasand profound notion for me to contemplate. Could I, at
centered on my new marriage, my work and my circlethis crisis point in my life, take charge and turn my life
of friends. My husband and I socialized with a wholearound?
entourage of young married couples, some with smallIn desperation, I started meditating to find some
children and most without. When I became pregnant inanswers, as the book suggested. In quiet introspective
March, it was a true blessing and my life shifted into amoments I realized that somehow, in some way, there
new and extraordinary focus. Of course, we plannedwas a lesson for me to learn from this frightening,
on having a healthy pregnancy with a natural deliverychallenging experience. I continued meditating daily,
and we chose a birthing center in New York City todisciplining myself to visualize total health, my whole
deliver the baby.body healed. I began to feel more in control, less like a
Unfortunately, from the moment I became pregnant Ihelpless victim. I started believing I was an important
had morning, afternoon and evening sickness. All kindsfactor in my own healing process. I felt I made a major
of odors bothered me, especially cooked chicken andshift in my perception of the situation and I was able to
fish. I had no appetite, since no food appealed to myfeel hope and even experience inner peace. With this
palate. However, I did force myself to eat a highrenewed motivation, I decided to go the alternative
protein diet (about 80 grams a day), plus a quart ofroute and see where it took me.
milk (in the form of milkshakes and ice cream sodas),Some friends knew of a wonderful holistic doctor in
lots of vegetables, fruits and other carbohydrates. ThisWest Hurley, N.Y and advised me to seek out his
was the recommended daily food requirement foropinion. After an extensive examination, his prognosis
pregnant women and I adhered to it without question.was that with mild exercise, good nutrition, daily
The health of my unborn child was my only concernrelaxation and unquestioning faith, in seven years I
and I would do anything within my power to assure it,could most likely heal my body. This was all I needed
even if it meant enduring nausea and otherto hear to generate the commitment I needed to carry
discomforts.out a life-changing crusade for personal health. My goal
I couldn't wait for the first three months of pregnancywas set.
to end, because I believed that my morning sicknessTo reduce my digestive stress, the doctor put me on
would finally subside. But after five months, I was stilla strict food-combining regime. It was important to
sick with vomiting and cramping, as well. My baby wasfollow a more natural or pure diet, he said, which
growing normally, thank goodness, yet I was feelingeliminated all white flour, sugar and artificial substances.
worse and worse. The symptoms usually hit me whenI prepared my meals with compatibly combined foods,
I least expected it. I would be supermarket shoppingwhich improved the nutrient absorption and assimilation
and all of a sudden, I'd double over in pain from severein my intestines. No longer did I eat meat with potatoes
cramps and intestinal spasms. These bouts wereat the same time or have dessert directly after I ate. I
generally followed by intense vomiting and incessantstarted eating less protein, and more complex
diarrhea.carbohydrates with plenty of raw fruits and
Eventually, I noticed a vaginal discharge and somevegetables. The doctor told me I had a lactose
bleeding. I was given a sonogram to make sure theintolerance, which was the reason my cramping was
fetus was not growing outside the placenta. All clinicalso severe. I was advised to eat goat yogurt instead of
evidence showed an average pregnancy. But by thismilk, since it was easier for me to digest and full of
time, I was a mess! I had only gained 9 lbs during thehealthy bacteria necessary for proper digestion.
first five months and was nauseous and vomiting daily.As soon as I changed my eating style and rearranged
I could keep nothing down.my food choices, the nausea, vomiting and cramping
Finally, on one of my routine doctor's visits, my OBceased. By the time I gave birth, four months later to a
GYN advised me to see a gastroenterologist for tests.perfect baby boy, I felt healthy, energetic and vibrant.
The results came as a shock during this, myMy gynecologist was as surprised as I was. He was
introduction to the miracle of motherhood. I had Crohn'sskeptical at first and didn't believe that diet could
Disease, an inflammation of the intestines, which wasactually improve my health. But throughout my
considered incurable, highly debilitating, painful andpregnancy he noticed a marked change in my physical
chronic. Although it was not life-threatening, here I wasstate as well as my emotional attitude and decided to
five months pregnant with an incurable disease! Mylet me continue with whatever I was doing.
fear of the unknown was my greatest enemy andMeditation and visualizations became a big part of my
threat. I didn't know what to expect or how myhealing process, because they gave me comfort,
lifestyle would be changed.reinforcement and a sense of inner calm. I kept my
The doctors all assured me I could lead a normal lifefaith through setbacks and discouraging times,
and keep the disease under control with medication.because I always knew I was on a perfect path
They explained that this illness had nothing to do withtowards my success. It just felt right!
diet, even though I told them I always felt worse after II couldn't convince my brother-in-law to join me in my
ate. It seemed to be a young adult disease that usuallyhealthy-lifestyle transition. He didn't want to make any
struck before the age of 30. At that time, treatmentsacrifices. Today, his Crohn's Disease has dramatically
was a regimen of sulfur drugs prescribed to suppressworsened and he has undergone many operations
some of the symptoms and reduce inflammation.over the past decades.
I cried continuously for three days. Through a twist ofI continued my eating regimen after my son was born
fate, I already knew something about Crohn's Diseaseand through the pregnancy of my second child. Seven
because my brother-in-law suffered from it. He hadyears later I noticed definite changes in my body. I
endured several operations and had taken numerousbegan to gain some of the weight I initially had lost,
drugs to alleviate both his discomfort and preventwhich meant my system was finally digesting food
subsequent flare-ups. Knowing this scared me, since Imore efficiently.
was concerned that these drugs might harm myIt's been 28 years and I haven't had recurring
unborn child.symptoms. I consider this illness a wonderful blessing,
I became so depressed that I couldn't function. Ibecause it changed my life and spiritual focus. It sent
wallowed in my misfortune and submerged myself inme on a voyage into the sublime realms of my body,
sadness for hours on end. I felt I'd been doomed to amind and soul. From this crisis, I learned perseverance,
lifetime of misery and hopelessness. Fear seemed tofaith, love, discipline and commitment. I learned that
rule my life. To his credit, my husband was verysetbacks do not mean failure, nor do they mean
understanding and supportive. He tried to encouragedefeat. I learned to believe in myself and to trust my
me in any way he could. But I alone had to deal withintuitive sense, since my health depended on it. I learned
the reality of my disease and prepare for theto nurture myself with love and to feel joy and pride in
circumstances that lay ahead. With a major decision tomy accomplishment. I especially learned to keep my
make, I was caught between the traditional medicalmind steadfast on the positive and to focus on the end
route or perhaps another alternative. My concern wasresult with determination and conviction.
the welfare of the innocent baby growing inside me. II hope other women learn that they, too, have an
spent agonizing days wondering if I should fill theinternal strength from within to overcome adversity
doctor's prescription for azulfidine -- or live with theand that patterns can be changed if the desire is
consequences.strong enough. Of course, there's no guarantee
Fortunately for me, I was surrounded by people whoeveryone who experiences a health crisis will recover.
were more objective than I. They would assure meBut, I learned that life is a journey and that during the
that panicking was not a sensible solution. I needed tojourney, it's best to take charge and enjoy the process
calm down long enough to examine my options andas positively as possible. In that way, you attract more
my sister knew just the right advice to give.of what you want and less of what you fear. Then it's
She recommended I read, "Three Magic Words" byeasy to accept that sometimes bad things happen for
U.S. Anderson, which explained the Law of Attraction,a good and purposeful reason.
the concept that we attract into our lives what we put